Scumday

It was a pretty Scummy Canada day eh!

Euro shoe porn

Hey Euro shoe porn dudes.....(If you aren't familiar with this movement please see this.) Forget about the D3...what about this gem from és 2000 line....the Eclipse. It's kinda like the D3 with...well...any numbers of disorders.

Loaf a bread and a 2L milk

Shit...it's been over a month since I've posted. Blowing it. But here....I tried my hand at digi cam filming and editing and came up with this bit of fancy commons fun...the blog will pick up again........NOW!!! Oh..it's the first time I have ever edited anything so give me a fuckin' break alright?

Staple mag issue 5 is out

  If you have been checking my blog for a bit then you will remember me talking about a mag out of Australia called Staple. Well they are back with Issue 5.

 

 

Check out all the back issues at www.staplemag.com

How to get your free King Shit shirt.

Step 1. Walk into your favorite skateboard shop and pick up the new issue of King  Shit.

Step 2. Ruin your new issue of King Shit by tearing the cover off of it.

Step 3. Staple the King Shit cover to your already existing tee.

Step 4. Expose your chest hair that you have shaven into an inverted cross for good measure.

Step 5. Put your shirt back on for Christ's sake..there's kids in the store. And there you have it..your brand spankin' new King Shit tee shirt.

DIY spots

   Well, you can't go to the skate park anymore without either wearing a helmet (let's face it you probably aren't going to do that) or keeping extremely good watch out for cops. I got my first helmet ticket last Saturday and it seems I only hear of more and more police presence at the park these days. You can move to another city or you can just say fuck it and make some fucking spots!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to just come out and say it, street skaters here in Halifax, we're all lazy! That's me included for the most part. It would be nice if spots fixed themselves and fell out of the sky perfect but they don't. So the other day we went and actually did something. Grabbed a piece of coping, some plastic blue stuff and some screws and made a spot.

 

We packed the coping into Dratwa's car, risking mine and Plumbers lives had their been any sort of collision.

 

DIY crew- Chris Melvin, Neil Blackwood, Kevin MacDonald,Chris Dratwa

 

A couple of special kids I take out on a day pass from time to time. Look....they think they are helping..Adorable.

Neil Hacking some knobs.

Neil screwing.

The finished product.

 So there you have it folks. A sexy bank to bench, LA school yard style. Get ready for excessive media coverage. So many ads, spreads, sequences....oh wait...the spot is in Halifax. If you find it you can skate it. If your cool, you already know where it is.

Flats

  I did a little piece on the beloved skate spot Halifax has dubbed "The Flats" about 3 or 4 months ago. I pitched it along with another piece to Scotty MacDonald over at King Shit. I didn't post it up because I was waiting to hear back from Scotty. Some time went by, then more, then Scotty called me and left me a 3 minute message about the whole thing. I enjoyed it and thought you might enjoy it as well, so if you click here you can listen to the message in it's entirety. Scotford is a great dude, but a full email inbox can take it's toll on anyone. I should also mention that towards the end he mentions he's going to put the "Morgan Smith" thing on the web....he means the Morgan Campbell interview I did with him about his Staple mag. Hopefully we'll be seeing that Morgan Campbell interview up on the King Shit site now that the new issue is done eh Scotty? Anyways, here's my Flats article.

Flats:

Flats- Mid 90’s- John Hargraft photo

Every city has one. The meet up spot, it’s a stock element to any skate scene. You go meet up with the homies, drink your first coffee (or beer) of the day all with the ambition of eventually going street skating only to succumb to the social soiree that defines a meet up spot. Here’s a little ditty about a paved slab that we here in Halifax refer to as the Flats.

To my best knowledge, the Flats were born in the early 90’s, a bastard child to the Moosehead Grand Prix. The city paved a strip through the Commons Park grounds and like any illegitimate child of city planning, it was adopted by skateboarders.  To quote OG Halifax local ripper/photographer Greg Baller “Beer, fast cars, city politics, and quick-thinking created that spot.” 

After the adoption came the character building. With the last of the funds from the ASA (Atlantic skateboard association I can only assume) fund Baller bought some concrete slabs and lifted them in using his scrotum as a sling, they called him “Long bag Baller” for years after. Somewhere around the same time there was also a manny pad with a little step up added. These obstacles have become the herpes of the spot, never going away, but throughout the years there have been many a less serious STD’s, (Skateually transmitted diseases)  passing through the immune system of the flats. Countless kicker ramps, flat bars, boxes, Boudreau box, quarter pipes, outdoor gyms (yes an outdoor gym that doubled as the best manny pad the flats ever saw) and any garbage picked up along the way have littered the flats. It became the skate park before the skate park and even hosted its fair share of contests.

Dave Priest, early 90’s comp. Rainy Melon. Jody Jamieson photo

Dave Priest- mid 90’s comp-Melon fakie- Jody Jamieson photo

Jon Regan, mid-puberty switch FS flip, Early 90’s comp.  Jody Jamieson photo

In 1995 the city built what was supposed to be the first stage in a skate park, the bowl. I didn’t live in Halifax at this point but I imagine this took some heat off the ol’ flats.  But honestly right now as we speak the flats is located on the same grounds as a half a million dollar concrete skate park, but I still skate these 15+ year old concrete slabs and I’m certainly not the only one. I mean I do skate the new park, but my cup of cum is really the flats.

Me (Nacho) Switch Crooks-2006- Greg Boudreau photo

Before the new skate park was done the flats was basically all we had (besides street skating, but who has the ambition for that these days?)  One day I remember fondly is showing up to the flats for an average sesh and seeing Arto, Creager, Kyle Leeper and Sheckler skating the flats. Yes “double pits to chesty” himself skating our lil spot. Seeing a dude like Ronnie Creager, skate a bench that me and some homies hack sawed the back off of (much to the disparagement of the Halifax regional police) was a treat indeed. I also have to give a big shout out to my homie Birdman, fly like a bird, Adam Burgess for sticking the metal edge on the concrete block with liquid nails. That thing has been standing strong for 6 or 7 years now.

 Craig Boudreau?-KF indy?-John Hargraft photo

 Ok, so its not the Brooklyn Banks, and its never beget a boner from an out-of-towner so anxious to skate the spot he prematurely ejac’s in his Levi’s but it has seen its share of nbd’s, epic S.K.A.T.E games, beers, blunts, punks, fights, and anything else that comes from hanging out in the streets all day. As of late it’s even seen some hate from the city, that makes it a legit skate spot right? If the city starts to deconstruct it without thinking of what the space is mainly used for? Recently the city dug up some gravel on the other side of the blocks rendering them un-skateable. It’s not a huge set back though, once the spring hits we just need some strong arms to move the blocks back so we can once again do tricks over them.  I’m thinking that the city planted those trees to make it difficult to see the cops. Once those bushes grow in we’ll have SWAT teams leaping though them and busting skateboarders for no helmets. That’s what I said, yes, no helmets. For some reason or another our fine city of Halifax is deeply concerned with our “safety” and cannot bear to look at us skateboarding sans helmet, without handing us a ticket. Be thankful your city has better things to do, wait, ours does too it would just rather deal with the skateboarders than the real criminals. Long live the Flats!!!!

Beginning for beginners

Skateboarding is hard. Well it's hard to be good at it. I know it's hard for you young upstarts out there to really grasp how to skateboard and how to fit in. Lucky you, I am not only awesome, amazing, and gnarly at skateboarding, I am also a really extra cool guy. Follow my easy steps and you will be awesome in no time.

1. FIND A SKATEBOARD
This is easy. Just bug the shit out of your parents for a skateboard. Explain it like this....."I need a skateboard to keep me out of trouble. If I'm skateboarding I will stay out of trouble and off drugs". Little do they know. If this is not an option for you, go to your local skate shop and ask them for old boards and parts. Every shop absolutely adores this.

 

2. LEARN HOW TO THROW YOUR BOARD
This is key. Most people may think that a staple of skateboarding is the ollie. Sure it is if you can manage to figure it out but boy are those first few months hard. You'll need a good way to exhibit your frustrations. (See Kerry Getz) As well as being a great outlet for anger it also gives the appearance that you may have been trying something really hard. It will also give your board some wear to show your parents how much you are using it. If you are a rich kid, focus* as many boards as possible.

 

3.FEAR EVERY LOCAL
Just to make them feel special. Don't get in anyone's way who looks to be older or better than you. If you do get in their way, apologize and go find them a beer. Until they stop referring to you as a lil shit then this is how it goes.

4. SHIT, DID YOU LEARN HOW TO OLLIE YET?
That's an important one.

5.TRY DRUGS
Might as well get this one out of the way early. Hopefully you don't like them.

6.TALK ABOUT TRICKS YOU USED TO HAVE
Plain and simple, after step 5 you won't be able to do most of the tricks you used to be able to do. If you meet a girl at a bar, tell her that you used to be sponsored, that always does the trick.

Well that just about covers it, I think. Stick to the plan.

*Focus- Pure destruction of your skateboard.

DISCLAIMER: This is humor, in no way shape or form am I actually condoning drugs, or aggression towards your skateboard. If you actually needed to rely on this disclaimer though, your an idiot.

Danny Montoya Best of 411 Vol. 3

This video part holds a special spot in my heart. Back in my first year or so of skating Best of 411vm Vol. 3 was the one of about 3 videos that me and my skate rat friends could get our hands on. Needless to say I have seen this video probably upwards of 100 times, and this was one of my favorite parts to watch before I went out skating. GBoots told me he thinks I'm one of the only people he's met that list Danny Montoya as one of his favorite skaters, I got love for Danny though, whatev's.

Jay Mayne Hourglass review

    So this is at least a few weeks late. But it's not just like I have been neglecting this post exclusively, I just straight up have not been posting shit up here. It hurts me to look at my blog, so bare and boring.

  I have decided to give my first ever Nacho's Blog album review, or in this case mixtape review. What makes this one especially difficult is that I'm reviewing a friend of mine. Now if I was a professional journalist I would have left out the part about knowing him, but anyone who reads this will already know that.  Let me set the stage here a little bit. Jermaine and I have known each other for some years now. We have skated and worked together and at many times been each others thorn in our respective sides. Mostly because we both think we are right about everything. I'm sure most people, Jay Mayne included would assume that I am just going to talk unwarranted shit. I assure you, if there is any talking of fecal matter, it is warranted.

  This is Jay Mayne's newest offering of the musical kind. It is a mixtape over industry beats so right off the bat you know that you are getting recycled beats, which isn't always a bad thing. The subject matter for the most part deals with weed smoke, chasing money, trying to make it in the rap game, girls, and skateboarding, all of which make sense as this is Jay Mayne. I don't mean that this is what he talks about exclusively, he does put some other emotions into some tracks but for the most part these things are the back drop. One of my favorite tracks from this also happens to be the one that Jay Mayne decided to film a video for. Check out Mafia Music:




  Hourglass is 30 tracks long, mostly short snippets and the running time is about 60 minutes. I'm going to try to be kind here and say that half of the mixtape is worth listening to. Well I should say the whole thing is worth listening to but after a few listens you may find yourself picking it through for the tracks that you are really feeling. I also think that hearing some of these tracks live could persuade most anybody, but Jay Mayne is mostly a weed smoking, studio hermit who doesn't care much for social interaction. I did enjoy it but what I'm really anxious to hear is a full length album with original beats. Bottom line here is that I'm rooting for you Jay Mayne, but this just isn't my favorite shit from you.


P.S.
I remember skating in Toronto a couple of summers ago, trying to film a line that's in the Homegrown video at a 3 up 3 down. I had one of Jay Mayne's mixtapes on the ipod and I kept hitting repeat on this one track, that I wish I could remember because it was banging, and it helped me get a clip.


Now the question I have been wondering about...Jay Mayne....are we still cool? ha

Uptown Tragedy and Beauties and Beasts

 

    So I finally got my hands on a copy of Prevent this tragedy. It didn't come from the boys at Thrasher though. Chad Steeves, the local Converse rep, came through Uptown this past Wednesday to do a little screening of the video. He brought along a few extra copies of the DVD which were scooped up by anyone lucky enough. Chad also came equipped with a couple cases of Garrison Red and Amber which set a nice tone for the evening. Mark Regimbal of Shred-o-rama drunk bar singing fame was also in town doing DC stuff. He was at dinner with his parents earlier in the night and they so graciously gave him a bottle of Captain Morgan Private Stock. Fancy shit with a cork...no twist off here. He whined about the bottle breaking in his luggage so he just left it to the vultures. From what I hear that was the cause of a major puke fest at Nick's place. I am sure Jermaine was stoked to wake up to a living room filled with puke and skateboarders. Ahhh roomies. 

  As for the video...it was Hella!....Hella Sick...Hella gnarly!!! and Hella late!!!!!! But it was worth the wait. Well I did watch it a few times from some internet version but it just wasn't the same. Either way go sniff out a copy of your own wherever you can. If I do still end up getting my copy in the mail maybe we can have Nacho's blog's first ever contest? hmm....maybe. 

 Thanks to Proskates and Chad Steeves for hooking us up with a winter blues remedy. These cold ass months make for sparse social interactions. It was nice to see everyone. Oh we also watched Beauty and the Beast part 2 which is worth a look see as well. It's good to have these little premieres here, because no one seems to be putting out local videos anymore (Plumber). Anyways....fun night, good peeps...wicked accordion tunes. Hope to do it again soon.

Hanging out at Proskates has meaning again!

 Let me start this off by saying that winter is an awful, awful time. There has been zero skateboarding in my life in last 2 months. The holiday cheer has long since worn away and I am ready for the spring thaw. Since it is such a lousy time for skateboarding this equals minimal blog material.

  That said, I am happy to report this news to you. The Proskates Foosball table is back downtown. It was hidden at Uptown for too long. Proskates lurking finally has meaning again! Well that is if you feel that spinning knobs with plastic, armless men and whacking a ball are meaningful, and you know you do. 

 Here Jermaine and Zach demonstrate years of retail foosball experience. The main rule would be that the ball comes off the table when customers come in. That means real, paying, respectable customers and not the skate vermin who frequent the shop.

 

Skate Vermin.Verbatim.

Playing Jermaine can be frustrating. He will probably win and he will probably make you feel like an idiot each time he scores on you with a smart ass look like this one above.

Zach has been known to get a little too excited during games and will often have bowel movements several times during a match. It is much harder to pick up feces off the floor when a customer enters the store than it is to pick up the ball off the table.

"I've heard the Wu-Tang clan ain't nuthin' to fuck wit"

Parks and Recreation is the Wu-Tang of Comedy - watch more funny videos

Kimbo Price

It's no secret that I am a big Sean Price supporter. With mixtapes titled Kimbo Price, a prelude to Mic Tyson, how could you not like the man?

Johnny!!!!

Johnny Purcell! For pointing out that Biebel has already put out an iphone board you are the grand prize winner of....of.....of me posting your youtube video? Oh and as long as we are pointing things out, you spelled sponsor wrong. Jus' sayin'.

iphone skateboards

 Ever get really frustrated at your iphone and want to just throw it at a wall? But then you stop to think maybe I shouldn't toss this 600 dollar phone at the wall? Well now you can take out all your iphone frustrations on your brand new iphone skateboard!

    Ok so I don't recommend beating the shit out of your skateboard either, especially at skate parks. It makes you look like a big douche bag and then nobody wants to hang out with you. But if you so choose to (and we are all guilty of this just a little bit) it might as well be a $65 skateboard over your mini hand computer.

Alright so these skateboards aren't exactly on the market right now rather available on a customization website called Zazzle. So if you are so inclined you can just go customize your own or wait until Girl comes out with their own version of the iphone board. They already did this one:

UPDATE!!!!!

   With the help of lil Johnny Personal, it was brought to my attention that Girl has, in fact, already put out an iphone board. It is a Brandon Biebel graphic. Not working in a skate shop anymore and being over the age of 13 makes it a bit harder to keep up on who put out what graphic. Thanks Johnny. Here it is:

   

Endorsements

Toyota has some explaining to do. Selling their trucks on the strength of my name is fine but I am really going to be needing some of those checks right about now. Retroactive please. Sure it says "Taco" technically but we all know what they are alluding to.

It could be worse........

  Above is the restaurant that I started working at last month. The apartment building connected to it caught fire around 8am yesterday (12th). From what I know it seems to have been an electrical fire started in one of the apartments. Taj Mahal Indian restaurant (my employer) did not get the worst of it but there is definitely smoke and water damage that will shut the restaurant down for an unknown amount of time. All the windows in the front of the restaurant were smashed out to ventilate it as it was filled with smoke.

  I would have to say it is not the best news to wake up to. Learning that your place of employment is on fire and is closed sucks. Being unemployed sucks. I don't know all the details yet but I would assume that as of right now, I am unemployed. Ok so like I said, |it could be worse. People did lose their homes and possessions. No one was hurt thankfully. The Westin hotel offered people a place to stay and some food to eat.

 Flames.

Mom Hails Satan

I was doing some lurking on the Proskates youtube page and this oldy really made me chuckle.

Cock Boarding

Cock rides wood.